I didn't realize how fast time moved since the last entry - I still don't quite understand where May went, exactly. It was kind of a flurry of good weather, working, and being busy 3 weekends out of 4. I suppose there's another week to potentially drag through.
It's about 2:30am and I'm trying to condition myself for starting nights in < 48 hours time - I'm rather sleepy yet oddly maintaining some emotional integrity for a change - lately I've felt rather stable which is nice. This is a forewarning as usual that the narrative is unlikely to be particularly driven, because my faculties are solely focusing on putting fingers to keyboard (aka the modern equivalent of pen to paper).
So I'm going to America next month, for almost a couple of weeks, to see/stay with a friend and have adventures on the East coast in NC. Just about managed to have the time off work thanks to a very accommodating manager, booked the flights the same day and now I'm very inextricably excited and impatient whilst simultaneously worried about booking third party. Thankfully the airline themselves have a record of my ticket so fingers crossed nothing goes wrong - though I am lacking a plan B which isn't optimal and not entirely characteristic of myself. That said, I don't know shit about flying. Hm.
The Leeds trip was good albeit I was suffering from crippling abdominal cramps through most of the weekend, oddly. These have since ceased and I have resumed standard ignorance protocols for potentially medically significant ailments. I'm not convinced my heart is functioning properly as it throws a literal wobbly every couple of days, but I guess we've all got to die of something blah blah blah.
I guess the America trip has given me something to look forward to - some direction and/or goal that is attainable. It's been so disheartening to have ceded so many future plans due to my own failings as a person, and for once, this trip to me represents that I'm willing to continue moving forward with experiences instead of shutting the world out altogether. I suppose I'm willing to admit at this stage that apathy isn't my default state. The things you learn about yourself over time, huh?
An anonymous commenter left a message on my last entry to say my feelings were not inconsequential amongst other very reassuring things, as my last entry was a 15% mood affair and all that. I really appreciated whomever left such comments, considering they were a big surprise to me that anyone continues to read here, let alone has the willingness to comment and reassure me in a place where I am at my most vulnerable. Impressively, I couldn't even figure out who left the comment, so well done and thank you, you fantastic person, you totally fooled me and made me smile simultaneously.
Today was a pretty good day overall. Woke up at 10am which isn't overly shocking, got a call to arms from Dave to meet at 2pm at a hostel/pub named Nos Da in Cardiff, for what was described as a "mini-festival". I wasn't sure what I was expecting but this was a misnomer, considering it was literally called "Cardiff Mini-Comic-Con" which was actually far better than what I expected. The small hostelpub (new word) had several tables with very artistic yet alternative pieces, including a nice chap whom was doing caricatures for £2.
I'd never had one before because, well frankly the opportunity hadn't arisen and I had no real inclination. But this was a small, indy-organized meet-up with probably 100-200 attendants overall, and I'd had a couple of ciders on an empty stomach thus planting me in the "willing to try random things" phase. I wanted to show my support but was shying away from the artworks which I probably couldn't fully appreciate, being the supreme philistine that I am.
So I sit down with this young bloke whom reveals he has just graduated from uni doing animation, and he somehow draws a picture of me whilst holding a conversation (there aren't many instances where someone asks me "so what do you watch?" and I reply "... mainly anime" - but this, being at a "comic-con" - was one of them) about each other in addition to Highschool of the Dead and how it's basically just boobs and fanservice and very, very little else (bit of a yawnfest but sort of fun - ashamed with myself that I gave it a 9 when I watched it a few years back apparently - http://myanimelist.net/animelist/Li
Fucking get to the point Tal, christ. In as few syllables as possible; the nice man drew this:
Pretty fun overall and yes it looks ridiculous but I figure that's the point - I carried it around the rest of the day and got all sorts of comments from people. A lady called me cute via it, which I felt was misguided but held my social ineptitude enough to disagree. Paid him more than £2 for being so cool. Plus he complimented my beard. If you want to get to my heart, compliment my beard. Talk shit all you want about the rest. Talk shit about my beard and I will end you. (but not actually, do what you want). Here is the guy's page - he has a style akin to that of Loony Tunes, interestingly.
Dave's friend was playing guitar at the mini-comic-con too as they had a couple of live acts, both of which were fantastic, the chap could play some fantastic acoustic guitar. I mistakenly did that thing I always do in saying I'm a guitarist, which is probably the musical equivalent of saying Ed Miliband is a politician. He was a politician, and he always kind of sucked balls at it anyway, (not Ed Balls, mind) but that's the equivalent of me being a guitarist at this stage. Then we went to our normal burger place and I ate a burger far bigger than the diameter of my mouth. I am still full, 10 hours later.
Anyway that was May, really looking forward to June 20th rolling around. Thanks for putting up with me, anonymous readers - I'll keep you and future me posted.
This song's pretty great - I was debating what to post as this is kind of mellow for a 75% mood, but I've really enjoyed it lately. Hadn't heard of the group before, either. Take care.
Dive in, the water might be lovely.
Go keen and go boldly.
Go wherever they sing.